My, have I gotten a lot of neat questions! Here are the highlights:

Is physical contact between the sexes permitted?

A: Not on the general campus. It is an unwritten--and still upheld!--tradition that couples shall not display overt physical contact: hand-holding, hugging, kissing, arms around each other's shoulders, etc. However, on dating outings and other rare occasions, the hand-holding regulation is easily suspended. For example, it's assumed and expected that a gentleman may offer his arm to a lady during the rare icy days on campus. While outside, of course! But don't get carried away, literally or figuratively. Jessica was called down, but not "penalized," when I led her by the arm to her dormitory after a spring opera. I was not a student at the time, and it was my bright (dumb) idea.

 

May dorm student couples date off-campus?

Yes, but "certain restrictions apply." The major items are:

• undergraduate students under 23 must be chaperoned by a woman or a married couple. The chaperone must be faculty, staff, or graduate students of BJU.
• 3 hour time limit per off-campus date, unless the woman's parents are chaperoning: in which case, this time limit is lifted. If the man's parents are chaperoning, the 3 hour limit still applies. Note! This restriction was dropped as of the 1999-2000 school year.
• the location must be specified and approved in advance by the Dean's Office.
• it is assumed that you will abide by all standard BJU social regulations while off-campus.

May a dorm student's visiting parents chaperone a date?

A: Yes. If "her" parents are chaperoning, the 3 hour time limit is waived. The 3 hour time limit is now dropped.

 

What about dating on-campus?

A: There are various places around campus that are chaperoned--excuse me, hosted--and available during most class hours and in the evenings: The Student Center, Social Parlor, and Snack Shop are the most obvious. Ball games and other events are dating activities as well.

 

Isn't this too restrictive? How do you really get to know someone if you can't, well, really get to know them? (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge!)

A: Reality Check: The root goal of dating, regardless of other motivations or objectives, is to find a mate. You will be marrying an entire person--not a body. It is far more important to determine the spiritual condition and character of a person than to find out if they're great at "making out." The marital physical relationship will wax and wane during a lifetime of marriage; the character of the people in the relationship will be quite consistent and will be what you're really "living with."
For a detailed inside look at dating "seriously" at BJU, please see the sidebar on BJU Marriages.
 

What was your dating relationship with Jessica like?

It was... unique. We met during my senior year--her freshman year. After graduation, I stayed in the Greenville area and we continued dating. We were both required to follow standard dormitory student guidelines. Off-campus dates were chaperoned, and Jessica had a 10:30 curfew. We spent a lot of time in the Dating Parlor. (See the Lingo List.)

 

You mean that you--as a 23-year-old graduate--dated as if you were a dorm student for another 3 years?

Yes, in addition to the five years I attended BJU.

 

Why?

Because Jessica was worth the wait! We're spending the rest of our lives together now, and we've more than made up for the years of waiting! (wink-wink, nudge nudge!)